I FEEL BRIGHT WHEN YOU STAND NEAR



Sleep over at my baby's house :))))


I dont understand myself. I wear my strangeness like armor and rage when people shun me or misunderstand me. I reject the ordinary, the commonplace, the normal, in favor of the weird and unusual. And the world looks at me and i dont know what it sees but it does not see who i am. Im never able to translate the way i see the world into terms most people can get, rarely able to truly communicate. Hand gestures and pidgins for a perspective that, not to be arrogant, I think the world needs right now.

I hate being strange sometimes. When im younger i have my bubble, people and places and situations i enjoy and that im comfortable in, but as i get older i have only the barest scrapings. WHY?




Forget it, im just whinning here.





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I WILL NOT DIE AN UNLIVED LIFE

I lost it. Like a penny. And over those few days, where i admitted defeat, threw up my hands and walked away, because being alive in a dead world hurts. Feeling when everyone around me had ceased was like keeping a candle lit in a hurricane.

I threw my spirituality away. I dammed it up, paved it over, entombed it. I survived on the memory and spent hours trying to convince myself of things i once knew intuitively were true.



I really wish to know why i am the way i am and get so drained around people, especially toxic and unhealthy people. I need great plans!







PS: Life lesson. The grass is never greener in reality. Never.



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I SHUT MY EYES AND ALL THE WORLD DROPS DEAD


So many things happened lately and i really dont know where to start. Lets dont talk about the bad stuffs :))) Anw, im getting married! Busy preparing everything for the big day! Took our wedding shoots already and i cant wait for it to be ready! HAHAHA! I thought i look fugly and gross in there because of the thick make up and the photographer kept forcing us to smile. Me and my guy hate smiling when we are taking pictures! BUT when we saw the raw photos that the photographer show us, it wasnt that bad! :)))) We quite like it in fact. They will be editing those photos that we chose and be ready for us to see the final piece on 13SEPT. CANT WAITTTT, OMG!!


OH BTW, im getting married to this guy here! hahaha!





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